Life, Malaysia, God.

There's so many things that happen over the last 2 weeks that I don't know what to write.

Prioritising is a hard task isn't it?
Implementing it is even harder.

I find it an extremely hard test of will. So far, I've fail to put everything in order...
this despite giving leeways to myself here and there.

Sometimes our priority cause us to lose some friends. So far, mine has not been that drastic, but everything I follow my priority list and decided to forfeit meeting friends for it, I feel more distance.

Now as a newbie in the workforce, things are even harder.
This is because I've to consider the $$$ aspect of things now.
Here comes another challenge "BUDGETTING".
I can't believe I've almost used up all my last months income already. This is just on food, and some movies only. No I didn't go movies everyday, no I didn't buy watch, handphone, cloths, or shoes.
Well blame it on my income. hehehe.
But truthfully, I feel that entry level pay in Malaysia generally is too low. Imgine this:
You have a job offer.
You have all the academic requirements.
But there's one catch.
NEED OWN TRANSPORT.
"What?!! I need money to buy car, and to get money, I need a job, and to get a job, I need a car!!"

Huh? How did that happen?
Don't ask me. The world's screw up and more people are screwing it up purposely to make life hard for others while they enjoy themselves screwing up everyone else.

Well, thank God not all jobs have that kind of requirement, but it's just an example of the workforce here. But nevertheless, it's quite weird.

1 fact companise have to realise is cost of living in Malaysia is not like when factories just started where a meagre income would suffice.
Malaysia cannot rely on it's manufacturing industry any more. You can't expect your workers to work on high tech machines if you are paying them manual labour pay.

With the cost of living on the rise, the shift to commercial and R & D or D & D is needed more quickly than the Government thinks.
To shift, the governement must first equip and educate people on a higher level than before to support the shift to new economy.

That's what K- Economy is suppose to be all about. But school's education not to mention the educators are advancing way too late. Here i mean secondary level.
Students are given to shock when the go to tertiary education level because of this.
Although the old saying goes "better late than never", I would say "late is just as bad as never".

Anyway, we can at least the citizens of Malaysia themselves realising this and providing the best education they can afford outside government schools.

Sometimes i don't know if I can make it through life living in abundance as promised in the Word.
Coming to this, God has been testing me on my faith. I find myself trying to go back to child like faith again. Growing to trust God more than on my own strength. A rather humbling experience.
No life isn't easier, but with God I can go through.

Transition/Change

Change song d... hehe
Aren't you glad for the change my dear blog? I know I am.. lolz.

Well I had an interesting week last week as well as a tiring one.
Work is really quite boring, but nevertheless I have to remind myself to have a positive attitude there...

Right now I've made more acquaintances with the workers there.
Many of them there for some 20- 30 years... some of them can be my grandma.. lolz.
One weird situation I'm in is how to address people.
It's really hard to call people who are much older than me by name.
I guess it's our Asian culture that's instills the sense of respect towards my elders.

But of course even if we do respect, if there are things done wrong, we must deal with it no matter what age, but with care.
It's really true that familiarity bred contempt if we're not carefull.

Well, there were changes in my life lately... transitions again. Actually I do like change. I don't think I can stand doing routine things over and over and over and over again. Even reading the "over and over and over and over" seems annoying isn't it?
Imagine the "over aND Over and OVER AND over" is your work or your life, just that you probably say it softer or louder... doesn't it annoy you?
Get my point?

Changes in my life starts me thinking of many things... and I hope I stop just thinking and start acting.
I 've had to make decisions like choosing between two good things, can't have all the good things in life huh?
Like what the bible says, trials and tribulations are there to shape us for eternity. Well, tribulations not yet, but trials - YES! hehe.
Anyway, I'm trying to put my priorities right as well, but it's not a simple task as it seems.

Bottomeline: I'm still learning. And I will be learning until I move on to eternity.



Goodnight,


Joshua

Wrong attitude

Dear Blog.

I realised this week I had the wrong attitude towards my work.
Today instead of being unhappy, I thank God for giving me the opportunity to earn a living as a start.
Today I had more things to do than the past 2 weeks as the past week was where auditors came,
My shift job will begin by 5th October if everything goes smoothly.

Anyway , my SD ram is working again d... I'm so happy.
But If anyone got 256Mb SD Ram I wud gladly take it.

Last weekend I had an enjoyable weekend doing things I like with people close to me.
Oh ya, I even tested a Mitsubishi Lancer... but not the EVO 9 ... though I wish they had a test unit. hehe...

I watched Charlie and the Chocolate factory too. It was quite nice...
Oh ya, my dear blog, you must be tired of hearing the song already. I'll let you listen to a new song by next week ok?

I'm calling it a day already.

Goodnight dear blog.

Humans-> Just another machine (eventually)

Sigh,

My Old PC gave my problems again... This time my RAM blew... (T_T) (>_<) (@_@)

Anyone got any Old SDRAMs? Can I get it from you? If you haf, do tag me.


My working life for 1 week so far:
BORING...
Factory work is quite boring if you like a new challenges.. Well basically the daily challenges are about the same old machines which gives you a daily does of problems.
Well unless you are the MD, VP, HR, Marketing, Finance, etc.. don't go to semi-conductor, harddisk, and factories that basically churn out the same old stuff. 1 word: Boring demanding routine job.

I feel that I've become just another machine, but this machine maintains the other machines.

Finally

I'm back, My PC's harddisk is back!!

My PC's hard disk was sent back to supplier to claim warranty... Giving problems.
Just reformatted it.. YAY!!

MyUpdate in brief:
1)Completed project in April 2005
2)Got D for project (as in Distinction)
3) I' ve completed my HND in mechanical/mechatronic Eng
4)Went down KL to help out and experience All Asian Intervarsity Debating Championship 2005
5)"Lai Lau Juak"
6) Got a job from OSRAM. Started today(15 August 2005)
7)Graduation ceremony on 21 September in Gurney hotel.

Gotta go sleep already.

song change

Ok, I've change the song already.
It may take some time b4 it plays depending on your media settings.. so do wait 4 a while.


oh my, i should be doing my project now.. tata.

Just dropping by

Argghh...

1st time in months I blogged, it gave me an error.

Anyways, it feels weird after so long an absence. hehe.
I'm so sad that doodle board decided to suspend all free accounts :(
And oh, I'll be changing my music pretty soon. :)

I've got good news...
I received my results for all semesters on the 18th of March 2005... and... i passed all of this semester's paper when I thought I would fail 1.
The killer paper that gave me the most worry was Control System and Automation... man, just because of 1 question, it killed, err... more of massacred a lot of people.

Out of 100+ students, only 8 person passed the paper. Thanks to Jesus I passed.
(Btw, earlier I shared with others there were 5 because a lecturer told us that, but the latest stats shows there were 8)

Anyway, one last thing I have to do to get my Higher National Diploma is to complete my project.
Gotta go and solve a programming headache now.

Tata's till my next blog.
josh

Pressure stress pressure stress pressure stress

Pressure and stress are indeed related. In fact they are actually the same, if define in mechanical engineering terms. I don't about psychiatric term though.

Anyway, right now if they are 2 different things, I'm feeling both. If it's the same, I'm feeling IT.
I have in my hands right now, End test, Assignments and Final Year Porject. All to be completed by March. Wheew!!

Main point: I'll be very busy, I won't be blogging much, if not, not blogging at all until I get more free time hopefully by March.

Project presentation not confirm. (oh bummer)
Don't know what's with the ISO certified, 1st in Asia excellence award winning centre from Edexcel thingy if PSDC(where i happen to study) can't confirm presentation date 1 month before presentaion month. sighhhhhh.
Admins always have problems eh?

Anyway, point is I'm stressed out and won't be able to blog. bye. (>_<)


till my next blog weeks away,
strained josh.

Of ants and of me.(Friday 28th)

"Go to the ant, you sluggard!
Consider her ways and be wise,
Which having no captain,
Overseer or ruler,
Provides her supplies in the summer, and gathers her food in the harvest.
How long will you slumer, O sluggard?"

- King Solomon
(proverbs 6:6-9)

Another rhema today...
I've been a bit lazy lately.. although I've been busy with my project, I still laze around before really doing the serious stuff. I was just writing about procrastination yesterday, and now I come across this verse.. haha.
"OK Lord, I get your message!"

But getting the message, and acting on it are 2 different things. I hope I'll be able to act on it.
Today, I can't get into internet. So i'm posting this on saturday even as I write for Saturday.

Today I spent most of my time out of the house. Whole day do project stuff... rush here rush there finding parts and getting machinist to do the work for us(my project partner and I).
Then evening got Youth meeting.
Tiring day.

Quote of Friday:
"Many Christians do nothing, but no Christian has nothing to do"



(Friday 28th)

Thursday

I went out like for the 1st time in 13 days (-visiting doctor), although it was only 2 hours. I went to a shop 2 buy parts for my project.

I really don't know how I spent my day. It was like suddenly I was so occupied with don't know what. Unnecessary stuff.

One big problem which I'm trying to overcome is procrastination... and also prioritising my things.

Anyway, I got a confession to make today...
I forgot about my daily devotional time to God today. (>_<)

Sometimes it's very hard to find time to just devote the few minutes in quiteness and reading the word. Assignments, projects, coming end test; all this takes a lot of my time... but then, as I write this, I begin to think "Is God my priority now?" ........ (the sound of silence)
To be honest, I must admit many times I left devotional time at the bottom of my "to do list" for the day. And like this day, i just forgot about the last thing on my to do list. Anyway, I did finally go through my daily bread for thursday.

You know what was the message?
"Consumer Christianity"Let me quote a portion directly from it"

'If we were only customers of Almighty God, we could be selective in our faith and reject anything we didn't like. But that's no the idea.."

In a world where customer is always right, it takes radical obedience to God to keep from buying into "Consumer Christianity."'

Basicaly, the verse and the message was: "If anyone desires to come after Me(Jesus), let him deny himself, and take up his cross DAILY, and follow me." Luke 9:23

Well, it's not like it's the first time I read this nor heard it preached about it.. but this is like the RHEMA for me at this point.

Another rhema: "For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and is himself destroyed or lost?" Luke 9 :25

It's not like I'm lost yet, nor do I hope to get lost and I hope by God's mercy and grace, I won't... but it's more of telling me: Hey, is it worth sacrificing God time for work time?

It doesn't mean my struggle ends here after reading this, I know I'll still be struggling, but surely and steadily, I will overcome this struggle.
This is God's will.

Chicken here chicken there chicken everywhere...

14th January:
* wakes up*...
" oh o.. I don't feel good."
"What's is this red thing on my neck/collarbone area. ?" "Not chicken pox right""
But sad to say, doctor dispell all doubts.

I've been effectivly chosen to be the host of "Chicken Pox: Once in your lifetime!!" event on this date.

More spots appear towards the night.

15th January:
I feel real terrible. Spots all over.
You know what's the worst thing? Cannot bath!!
Arghhh... There's nothing more I hate about chicken pox is the "
pantang" 'cannot bath'.
Day time was already tough with the heat and the itch.
Sleep was going to be torturous... so I cleaned up with water a bit. Kinda over expose to water.
At night I really got scared . After cleaning up, I was lying down, suddenly I realised it was getting hard to breathe!!

At first I thought a bit exhausted, but it got worst. I was labouring for breath. Sometimes I feel like blacking out. I quickly ask my mum to check on me.
I thought I was going to die. But I didn't .. hehe
It was a really scary experience, so ok, I won't bath at night for this period.

16th January:
Very agitated with chicken pox. Itch, discomfort, dificulty to do things. etc etc.
but got assignment do. Stuck to PC whole day.

17th January:
Friend pick up my assignment for passing up at 7 am.
After that sleep until 11 am.

Feeling very terrible. indescribable.

Today got some relief. ahhh. Finally not only tsunami victims getting relief, C pox disaster victim also got some. BABY WIPES!!!They are life savers!! I use more than 1/2 the 80 sheets pack that day.
tip: If you can't bath, use baby wipes. Then there's calamine.. cooler liquid.

Sleep was torturous. Sticky body(despiote baby wipes) and itch is killing me. rather sit up on bed and not sleep, but fell asleep anyway.

18th January:
Got up grumpy. It is really hard to be cheerful.

Got my first bath in 3 days...
I bath in some herbal things.. Smells like "Leng Teh" Imagine bathing with "leng teh".
It's really good, so says the chinese sinseh.
But I was really grateful for it.
But still cannot use soap.

Night time was again torturous. I lost my cool and was angry with everyone and anyting. sighhh. Trying hard not to scratch and trying not to move too much.

19th January:
Still feeling terrible.
Took herbal bath in the afternoon.
Still grumpy.

Open new pack of baby wipes. Finished it by evening. 160 sheets in 2 days!!
Kena marah from dad. hehe.. said a I was extravagant user. Financer of these companies. lolz.
But got another 2 pcks anyway.
Seriously, they are life savers.

Went to seelp feeling a little better.

20th Jan:
Get up feeling a wee bit better.
Today can visibly see muhc improvement. The lesions are drying up and some are shrinking.

Ah, I'm getting tired now, will write more tomorrow.



all poxed out josh.

Ah! (@_@) Crap!!!.. No... not chicken pox...(yet)

I hope that no one who reads my previous entry will think that I dislike people telling me off... when I'm wrong. hehe. It's just to say I won't just simply try to shape myself to meet people's .. umm.... "picture perfect view" (?).. What am I writing now.. crapping... hehe...

Today: Thursday.
Morning tutorial was turned into an interview session there an then. I wasn't prepared and I answered some questions rather stupidly (>_<). Hope I don't fail.. (Praying and wishing hard) Then I got a really pleasant surprise from a wonderful friend of mine... nearly give me heart attack at 1st. This friend who's studying outstation, suddenly "appeared" back here and give me shock!! But it was a happy one. ^_^ Last few days have been doing some programming stuff... made an error that I didn't know how to solve yet. sigghh Today is not a productive day :s Currently feeling literally sick and tired.. I hope I won't get Chicken Pox now... argghhhh Getting feverish/flu like symptoms... "noooo!!! I dunwan chicken poxxxxx!!!!"
Hmm... actually I'm rather tired to write anything today. But anyway:

Things I plan to do:

• open a new blog for html coding.... i'll be posting simple html codes that I have and a brief instruction to use them (if you don't already know). I'm not an expert or anything, but it's just for anyone who wants to make their site a little nicer.. will offer a slightly more specific help for @blogspot.com users. (^_^)
• do some simple programs like chat room codes... wonder if it'll work. hmmm..
• write a program that can translate my thoughts into text so I won't have to type them.. wakakakaka .. in my dreams.

Oh ya.. finally got my timezone correct... I dunno what I was thinking.. at 1st I didn't set time zone, then later several post were in -8 hours GMT... in USA. (-_-)" Finally got it right today to +8hrs GMT(Asia/KL).. So if u see my other posting times weird weird, sorry, I'm just too lazy to calculate the change and make changes... hehehe.

summary:
-High-light of the day: A friend's surprise!!
-I don't normally do summary, so I'm sick today
-Ah crap, I'm crapping.

my quote of the day:
"I'm only human afterall (lame? blame it on my brain) - I'm only human"

?Am I what I am?

Today's Monday.(duh)
Ok, so 1 of my new year's resolution is to write a tleast once a week. Writing every day seems time consuming to me. But it kind of let me reflect on that day... but like I said, it's a llittle too time consuming for me.hehe.
I'll try to do it eventually. I'm d1/2 blogging, 1/2 doing homework. I hope both don't come out too jumbled up.. lol.
(If you find this entry too boring, go to the end of today's entry and read a joke ^_^)

Sunday was a rather unique day. Happens only once a year.
The 4th OCOV!!
The venue: Matahari Ballroom@Hotel Equatorial!
Once again worship was in the many languages that we have; English, Tamil, Chinese and Bahasa Indonesia/Melayu.
It is really awesome when the Lord's name is praised in different tongues.
Bahasa work has really grown in FGA over the past years. Really fruitful. Praise God for it.
According to a source, total attendance was 1400!!

The afternoon was spent sleeping.
I really 'geram' with my bro...
It's a known fact that C.Pox is contagious, yet he doesn't want to get into the room when we get back. Arrgghhh!!!
Only later at night really had enough, have to ask him to get back into the room 'forcefully'
(-_-)""


Monday:
Doctor declared James no longer contagious.
Wondered if he was yesterday.
Anyway, what's passed is past.
Today, I woke up at 6.30am. Feeling uneasy all over. Got up and imeediately prayed and read bible after a glass of water.. I rarely do that in the mornings unless I have no class. Anyway, later I was feeling much better. Whole day in school from 8.30 am to 5.30 pm.
The classes were draning and return traffic tiring just to sit through it.(i'm not driving)
Got back at ~6.30pm, took a bath, immediately hit the sack...
Got up 1 hour later for dinner.
Do homework lo... until now. blog, homework, chat,blog, homework, chat,blog, homework, chat.
(^_^)

Am I.......
Lately, a few people have been telling me some that they realised I wasn't who they thought I was. Not just 1, more than 1. (@_@)
This has me reflecting. Though I'm not the type that actually cares to act to impress, I'm now wondering what image have I projected myself to be. Have I deceived people? Or was I just judge by looks... hmmm... or have I changed a lot over the years that people have known me.
Actually, some years back, my ex-school mates did tell that they like me better the way I was lsat time. It had me trying hard to be who I was, but of course I felt rather miserable trying to fit into people's opinion. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't that I changed to speak profanity or become a ruffian, etc. It more of change of character, i suppose(?)
I don't really know... hehe... I think I was growing to be more vocal of certain things.

But then when I reflect back, church and successfully(to some degree) people have influenced me in shaping myself. I realised that in the process, my values have grown to change as well. Well of course I don't admit to be able to always fillter out what's good and what's not so good.
But I'm learning.
Some characteristics which may seem good and fitting to others, may not be so to others.
So what do I do? Try to please everyone and act differently to different people?
Man, I think I better stop my course right now and become an actor.

....What I Am?
My conclusion?
I think I'll stick to be what I am right now.. and continue to ask God to mould me. Of course if I'm definitely wrong in some of my ways, I hope people will come and tell me about it. (^_^)
I like to be what I am.. Yay!!

Here's a joke a friend shared with me.

America vs. Malaysia....
US:We have mocha
MY:We have "NesLo"
US:We have cappucino
MY:We have teh tarik
US:We have pancake
MY:We have roticanai
US:We have the Golden Gate
MY:We have the Penang Bridge
US:We have "Star Spangled Banner"
MY:We have "Jalur Gemilang"
US: (Fumes) What do you have that we don't?
MY: We still have our TwinTOWERS! You've lost yours.
US: (.............)

I thought to post it here (minus the profanity) to show how we can emulate others, but yet have our own identity.. Some may find it insulting at the end, sorry if it was. It's just a joke

A promise.

Oh, I forgot to mention something in my previous blog.
My bro got Chicken Pox!!!! (>_<)
I still haven't got them!!
I don't want them ...
We'll just have to see 3 weeks after he recovers to see if I'll get it. Not that I'm hoping to get it. If I don't get it, I'll go for vaccination.

Today I got all the time in the world to update all my stuff, emails, blog, other accounts.. wahh, it's doing a virtual spring cleaning.

A promise:
Has anyone ever made a promise to you?
It's really "sacred" when its kept. There's a special feeling when a promise is fulfilled, right?
Has some made a promise to your ancestor and fulfilled it?
What more if it's someone of high importance that hold a very high position or a high post.
But it can be really heart wrenching when a promise is broken. Has anyone broken a promise made to you? Have you yourself break promises?
Contrary to the saying "promises are meant to be broken", I know it's not true for many more.

The fact that today I'm living and not having to worry about my home being flooded and I have no dry land to stand on is because of a promise fulfilled.
The promise that is symbolised by the rainbow.
The promies that God will never elminate living creatures with flood. Even as the tsunami has taken a lot of lives, we can find comfort that God has promised that He''l not destroy earth with water.

The promises of God always stands.
But sometimes times are so tough that we feel as though God is witholding things from us. But is it us that are not living by God's word and commandments?
Perhaps we have to make straight our paths and see the faithfulness of God manifest in our lives?
But what I can say is God is faithful. He was faithful, is faithful and shall always be faithful. Despite our crooked ways, He'll always be there for us when we need Him.
Sometimes we go through difficult times, He shall set us high upon the rock, if we cry out to Him. How?, we don't know the means, but that's a promise.

by the way, I made a promise to myself. I've not broken it for 7 1/2 years... hopefully I won't break it before it is complete (>_<)

Disaster foretold!!

The end of last year was really tragic with the earth quake and the tsunami as a result of it. As with most people, I was really shock that this catastrophe could touch Malaysia, further it's in Penang where it's so close to home. Malaysia should no longer be call earth quake free, but rather, "Malaysia is place where the epicentre of earthquake can never be" since we experience earthquake as the reult of the 9.0 magnitude quake in the Indian Ocean.

I believe this disaster has shook up a lot of people. We begin to think if this is the beginning of the end, some of us are starting to re-evaluate our priorities... many of our mentality are changing with something happening so close to home.

The truth is the beginning of the end has already begun since long time ago.The Bible has all these written down already. From the governments of the earth which ruled the earth to natural disasters which happened and are to happen are all written in the Bible. Don't even mention Nostradamus, the bible existed long before it.

What I write here today has to do with what was preached today in church.Of the governments of the world, from bablyonian times were already foretold of the coming kingdoms and their power. Read Dan 2:31-49.

Of earthqueakes and disaster which will happen, Matthew 24:4-14. In fact other passages in the bible also says of this. See the book of Revelation for what is about to happen. Ask your other Christian friends if you're interested, or your pastor.

We may blame God for all this disaster, but the truth is it is not God's fault, but rather if is because of sin!! All creation suffers as a direct result of Adam's sin. We say we've got nothing to do with him, why do we have to inherit his wrongs? If you know about DNA and genes, you'll know that any defects in DNA are passed down the generation, this is just like sin. The very fact that nothing is perfect, and you at some point of likfe rebel against the law albeit small ones like driving above speed limit, lying, etc all shows we are sinful in nature. All sinful man are condemn to eternal death because the Holy God does not forgive sin without atonement(or a ganti rugi).

Can not escape eternal condemnation? Can we never be perfect?

The answer is YES!! we can escape eternal condemantion if someone that is perfect takes our place, and that has been arrange by God Himself throught the death and resurrection of Jesus!!

I have to constantly thank God for the gift that He has given... I pray I'll be able to reach out to others just as Matthew 28:19-20 commands.

Happy New Year!!!

Wow!!! It's been a long time since I've wrote in this blog.
Well, New Year's here, so I've decided to write ^_^

The most common practice in the New Year is to make new resolutions. Why in the 1st place do we have this practice? This tradition dates back to the early Babylonians. The early Babylonian's most popular resolution was to return borrowed farm equipment.
For more info on New Year celebration go to:
http://wilstar.com/holidays/newyear.htm or http://www.birthdayexpress.com/bexpress/planning/NewYearsDay.asp

For me, I suppose because many people screwed up during the past year, so new year resolution is an opportunity to make the change that perhaps they've have been wanting to do, but so often fail to for the past year.
But how many of us actually do keep to our annual resolutions?
As far I know, not many... yours truly included LOLZ!!!

Well, for me, my new year resolution is to write blog at the very least once a week ^_^
I still haven't thought about other resolution yet, maybe you can suggest to me on my tag board.. hehe

Anyway, one thing for certain is, I want to learn to reach out to others.
Being in the worship team has many times has taken my focus off people and unto the music, stage, etc etc.
I want to obey Matt 28:19-20... but how? We'll see about it. Maybe mission trips? See what happens during the year.